Grand HotelHoly shit, you guys, this is the funniest thing I’ve read in my entire life. Christwire.Org has created a list of things that homosexuals will never tell you and you should read this because I’m a homosexual and they haven’t told me this yet, so maybe I’m not a real homosexual yet and all that anal sex is just for funsies until the right vee comes along?
Anyway, here are some things from here.
“Homosexuals bleach their anuses.”
Can you imagine? LIke, what if I asked little Tommy Tubesteak out on a date and he was like, “Um, that’s great, but I have to go home and bleach my anus.” I might actually use that excuse sometime for, like, anything. Like, “Oh, I can’t go to that cycling class because I just bleached my anus.”
“The steam room is where the most offensive homosexual action takes place”
This one is actually true, because this is where all those narcissistic assholes tear you apart for any ounce of cellulite you have on your thighs.
Same sex desires are purposely being spread from humans to the animal kingdom.
“Same-sex activity does not occur naturally in the wild world. It does happen, however, in caged environments like zoos or private homes, just like gang rapes in prison. Following the idea that pets seek rewards from their owners, there is a good possibility that rabbits are simply showing off for their voyeuristic homosexual masters. They hope to garner a treat by offering up a visible affirmation of a radical human lifestyle choice.” –Why Do Rabbits Rape Cats?
I’m just going to leave this right here, and also point out that they have a link to a page entitled “WHY DO RABBITS RAPE CATS?”
“Glee is intentionally recruiting children into the world of homosexuality.”
This is not true, because nobody hates homosexuals more than Ryan Murphy.
“Rachel Maddow is a liberal, a lesbian, and a lousy newreader.”
Actually, two of these things are not secrets, and one of them is not true.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, THIS:
14) Cat ownership is a sad substitute for healthy, Christian relationships.“These are ungrateful and unresponsive animals that spend their days lazing around the house from one spot of sunlight to the next. They contribute very little to family life and tend to shun your attempts at friendship and training. Many an individual has come home to find their last roll of toilet paper mockingly destroyed by these little monsters. They practice a loud and proud promiscuity while discouraging their owners from forming their own real human relationships. Let them in the door and they will run your life.” –The Dark Underside Of America’s Obsession With Cat Ownership.
4) Heterosexual women are far less likely to get married if they socialize with gays.
What?! Hell, our advice on how to pick up a guy is how 75% of them get married to begin with. *dead*
